How To Talk To Your Partner Or Family If They’re Anti-Tweakments

Are you considering wrinkle-relaxing injections or injectable moisturisers such as Profhilo, but your partner or family are firmly anti-tweakments, and against the idea of you stepping into a tweakments clinic? It’s a common dilemma – how can you reassure your loved ones and ease their concerns without starting an argument? Here’s our tried-and-tested guide to having a successful ‘I want a tweakment’ conversation… 

Why do some people oppose tweakments?

It’s completely natural for your loved ones – whether it’s your partner, family members, or friends – to be wary of you going anywhere near a needle, especially if they have always been somewhat against cosmetic procedures. They love you as you are, for your gorgeous self, and don’t even see the minor surface-level imperfections, like the frown lines or pigmentation spots, that are bothering you. Besides, we’ve all seen what bad cosmetic work looks like. They’re scared that’s what’s going to happen to you if you go for treatment. And then there’s the cost of it all too…

Firstly, you aren’t alone. It’s a really widespread issue

“I see this in 50 per cent of my patients!” says Dr Hilary Allan, of the Woodford Medical clinics. ‘They will often plan treatments around when their partner is away so they can recover before they return or siphon off cash so there is no financial trail. It’s sad that in this day and age, a partner (almost exclusively male) has so much power and control. I think a lot of the time the partners are concerned that treatment will make them look overdone and ridiculous like some celebrities we see in the media.”

“Then there is the cost, and if you don’t have your own income and rely on money from your partner it can be an uncomfortable discussion. These treatments are still not deemed as important as having your hair done or buying a new outfit.”

Can I get away with just not telling my partner about my tweakments?

If you’re worried about facing confrontation when it comes to cosmetic treatments, it can be tempting just to book in and not say anything at all. It’s also a common feeling.

“We have some couples who both come for treatment but neither one knows about the other,” says Dr Julia Sevi of Aesthetic Health in Leeds. “Of course, we observe the utmost discretion and respect!”

‘In truth many patients do not tell their partners that they have aesthetic medical treatments, because they enjoy having something just for them, without disapproval, or sometimes just to avoid any concern or argument,” she continues. “Sometimes, our patients ‘come clean’ after many years of treatment because their partners don’t understand why they are ageing faster. At this stage their partner’s fears about treatments melt away because their other half looks so fabulous and natural – then they might book in themselves.”

However, we probably all know that keeping things from your partner is not always the healthiest approach, especially when getting tweakments…

You want to be honest (and have someone in the know by your side if there were to be any complications). Clearly, the grown-up thing to do is to discuss the whole subject in a calm and sensible manner, but rational discussion tends to go out of the window where tweakments are concerned.

So, how can you have constructive conversations about tweakments? I asked some of TTG’s top practitioners for advice.

1. Focus on skin health

“You want to allay fears that their dear one may end up looking like somebody else’s dear one!” says Dr Sevi. That’s why she advises starting the conversation talking about skin health, which can be less contentious than discussing cosmetic jabs. “Creating healthy skin is a healthy lifestyle choice, like good nutrition and going to the gym, and by regaining skin health we look better, and research shows we also feel better.”

“Toxin has been shown to lift mood as well as brows,” Dr Sevi gives as example. “The theory is that it acts through various neuronal pathways, and positive feedback from the mere act of not being able to frown. An extra benefit to your partner is that they don’t feel ‘in trouble’ all the time because post-treatment, you tend to look happier.”

2. Talk about subtle, natural results

Dr Suha Kersh of 23MD in London always tells her patients that it’s important to have the right motivations and realistic expectations, with the aim of a result that will refresh the appearance. “It is also important to begin the journey gently and to have a good consultation with a qualified doctor to go through expectations and how to achieve a subtle and natural result.”

Once you have defined your own expectations, it may be easier to communicate that to your partner and gather their support and confidence even if they are anti-tweakments. Basically, if you know what you are looking for and believe in it, then it can be easier for them to understand it all too.

3. Be open … but there’s no magic formula

“I would always encourage a discussion with your partner if they are anti-treatments, to reassure them that we are creating a more content person and just returning your face to how it was a few years ago. We aren’t changing you into a new person who will be unrecognisable,” says Dr Allan.

“However, in truth, there is no magic phrase to use, and we don’t really know what your relationship with your partner is like,” Dr Allan continues. “We just help our patients to feel better about themselves and if that means being complicit, then so be it. In fact, I once treated a lady with toxin whose husband was dead against her having any treatments. Three weeks after the treatment he took her out for a meal and said, “You look really well. You don’t need any of that toxin!” to which she replied, “Well, I’ve already had it and that’s why I look so good!” Once it was out in the open, he was reassured by how great she looked, so it all ended happily.”

Interested in reading more about tweakments on The Tweakments Guide. Head to our tweakments hub.